About Me (In General)
I GREW UP ON THE SOUTH SIDE of Youngstown, Ohio. Born in the mid 70s, I dreamed of growing up to be a Solid Gold dancer one day. That never happened... but damn, can you imagine how cool that would have been?
At various points during my life, I wanted to be a lot of things: a doctor, a nurse, a marine biologist, an archeologist, an artist, a novelist, a horse trainer, a figure skater, a choreographer, a singer, an actress, an obituary writer, a roller derby-ist, a forensic pathologist, a carnie living in a vardo, a psychologist, and a medium.
In actuality, I've been a babysitter, a hearing impaired interpreter (SEE), a house cleaner, an apprentice machinist, a web and graphic designer, a wife, a mother, a cancer survivor, a writer, an assistant editor at a newspaper, an editor in chief for two online publications, a sex toy reviewer (yes, really), and a UGC creator.
Life takes us in unexpected directions. I've always been kind of a roll-with-the-punches type of person so my career is a bit of a winding road. I really loved working in manufacturing, though. I got to use all kinds of tools and machinery and I wore a shop coat every day and my favorite part of the job was pushing buttons (that lit up!) on the CNC mill and lathe... although I could never openly admit that at the time, being a "little girl" who "had no business operating machinery," according to some of my peers on the male-dominated floor. But I can say it now: I was the department lead, a title I earned because I was damned good at my job, and pushing all those buttons (that lit up!!) was a thrill. Every. Single. Time.
I eventually took a very long hiatus from the workforce after I got married and had kids. I did all of the typical mom things... singing songs, cooking dinners, wiping butts, bath times, silly faces, bedtime stories, tooth fairies, Easter bunnies, Santa Clauses, trick-or-treatings, school parties, school carnivals, Scholastic book fairs, softball practices, cheerleading practices, band chaperonings, driver's educations, sex educations.
I went back to work somewhere around the time my youngest was out of elementary school, and that's really the point when my career became focused on the written word. Occasional blogging for fun turned into professional content writing, which turned into editing, SEO, affiliate marketing, UGC, and all the other things that come with creating content for the internet.
Several years later, the robots came for our jobs.
Well, kind of. Those of us working in the industry have experienced a lot of change over the past few years, to say the least. But when AI closes one window... another opens.
These days, I work in AISEO, with the very best team at the very best agency in the world.
About My Writing (Specifically)
WORDS ARE MY GREATEST STRENGTH. Sometimes I'll just say a bunch of them for a really, really, really long time as a form of improv entertainment. When gathered 'round ye olde dinner table, my family often jokes that I use as many words as possible and can make any story last until the end of time so naturally, I take it as a personal challenge. While much of my written work has involved comedy and satire (so much sarcasm runs through my veins that my blood has to be S-positive at this point), I’m a novelist with a passion for writing in all forms. Including bad poetry. And even worse songs.
I never wanted (or intended) to stick to a single genre because I enjoy the challenge of taking on subjects I've never written about before or adopting a tone I don't always use. Besides, inspiration bitch-slaps me from unexpected directions, and I just sort of follow it. Sometimes into a dark alley... othertimes into a windowless van (that doesn't look shady at all because I was promised some candy and a puppy).
I'm a diehard fan of the Oxford comma and the em dash. And yeah, I'm well aware that AI has overused the em dash to the point that some consider it to be a sign a person's writing is "obviously AI," but you know what? Artificial intelligence was trained on human writing (including mine), and the em dash existed for several centuries before AI was ever a twinkle in some tech bro's eye.
I mean—just look at it—the em dash is a beautiful thing, and one I'll be using until the day it's finally pried from my cold, dead ashes.
(Ashes which will be spun into glass balls, by the way. They look like galaxies! Upon my death, I want them to be passed out to everyone like little phylacteries. Partly because they're absolutely stunning. But mostly because in some distant future, one of my descendants will have to utter the words, "Quit playin' around with great grandma's balls!" and that, my friends, is how you win at life.)
I've been working as a freelance writer and editor for many, many years. I consider myself lucky to have interviewed interesting people, most of whom were artists, designers, and typographers, across six continents. Beyond my own manuscripts, I've contributed to multiple anthologies (some are no longer in print, unfortunately) and online media publications that include Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, BLUNTmoms, Skinny Artist, Women's Health Interactive, and The Roots Of Loneliness Project, as well as occasional satire for MockMom at Sammiches & Psych Meds.
Between what I've written for clients, online publications, newspapers, and just for myself, I've written thousands of pieces—far too many to even begin to count. That said, I've got a handful that stand out as favorites.
Reaching Middle Age And Why It's Awesome
I wrote this when I was pushing 40. I'm now getting regular hate hey-you're-old mail from the AARP. But even at 50, every word still holds true.
What I'm Really Going To Tell My Kid About Middle School
My parenting style may not be for everyone.
Withstanding Grief After My Sibling’s Death
This essay began as catharsis after my brother passed away the night before Thanksgiving in 2015... it started as an attempt to give shape to my grief when it felt impossible to articulate any other way. To sit with it, to maybe make (some kind of) peace with it—sense of it—rather than trying to outrun it. It took weeks; I'd write a little here and there as I could, sometimes only a sentence on a given day, until it was finished. But beyond my own eventual healing, I really hoped it might reach others carrying similar grief, offering a sense of connection and a reminder that none of us mourn entirely alone.
Writing an obituary is one of the most meaningful forms of storytelling there is. I couldn't write my brother's; looking back, I wish I would have at least tried, but... to be honest, I could barely function at the time and couldn't write anything for a couple of months. My grandma was in her 90s when she passed and it was somehow easier because she lived such a full life. When this was printed in the local newspaper, it filled about a quarter of the entire page. People probably thought she was famous or something. But I hope I made her proud. (And yes, I am the granddaughter who refused to wear shoes; I'm barefoot right now, in fact. I'm also the person who arranged her 90th birthday cake to say "Happy 90th Whatever" in purple icing. Gods, I miss that woman.)
How To Include Your Inflatable Sex Partner In Your Family’s Holiday Traditions
My editor at BLUNTmoms found a random stock image of a guy hugging an inflatable sex doll, thought it was hilarious, and pretty much just wanted a good reason to use it. So I gave her one. (I miss her, too. Magnolia Ripkin was the first editor I ever worked with, and the person who made me realize that I might, and could, build a writing career.)